Review: THE SECRET OF ALL SECRETS by Douglas Wells

Zane is a struggling musician going nowhere. Then, one night, he finds a USB flash drive on the bridge. As soon as he takes it home and inserts it into his laptop, something strange happens. Apparently, it knows him and brings up a message:

You have been entrusted to learn The Secrets of All Secrets. Once you know them, you will know everything. This will require you to embark on a journey that will be fraught with danger and mystery, but there will be exhilaration from which you will get the ultimate buzz.

 
To learn the secrets of all, including the meaning of life? What the heck does that mean? Sounds very Moses.

 

This then begins the complex and weird journey for the meaning of life. Sounded pretty lame to me. Unfortunately, as we dive deeper into the story, it doesn’t get much better. It was kind of hard to keep up and hold any kind of interest in the characters, especially Zane, who struck me as this lazy doofus just looking for an easy way out. Plus, all the messages on the USB were very cryptic and confusing, which only enhanced my annoyance.

 
Was this really about God? God, I hoped not. At first, this sounded like an interesting travel mystery, but it fell really flat, which was what I’d kept hoping would happen to Zane. 

 

My rating: 1 star